Turning over a new leaf

In my life, I have found that true spiritual happiness comes from being truly spiritual. I can't be "on the fence" when it comes to my spirituality. If I am, then I will never truly be a friend of God. If I act like a friend of God while at church, and then when I'm not there, I act totally differently, that's called "leading a double life" and it won't get me anywhere.

My problem is, I've always wanted to feel the love of someone, and that has been my downfall. Very often, I have placed love in higher regard than spiritual interests, and spiritually speaking, it's been a disaster. It hasn't been a disaster with my relationship, in fact my relationship is amazing, but it's been a disaster with my spirituality and my relationship with God. I know what I need to do. I need to take my focus off of love so that I can focus more on God...

Honestly, that's easier said than done, but I'm going to try my best to do what I know is right. I need to turn over a new leaf and find out who I am and what I want from myself spiritually.