It's been a while

Hello world, I know that it's been a while since the last time I posted. There have been a lot of things going on with me. This guy that I've been in love with for the past 7 years decided that he wanted to come back to me, after him and his new girlfriend broke up. They only dated for 6 weeks. They split up at the end of January. He keeps breaking up with me and then coming back to me. The only problem is, when I'm with him, it seems like my spirituality flounders. I hate it when that happens. I want to put spiritual interests first in my life, but since I want to be loved by someone more than anything, that's what has kept me from growing spiritually stronger. I feel like I'm such a disappointment to God, mostly because of the cyber love affair.

I don't know what to do. I love him, but I don't want to hurt him by telling him that I can't be with him anymore. I don't want to hurt God either. It's like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need to be strong so that I can make the right decision.